Saturday, February 25, 2012

My New Blog: Serendipitology



Check out the first major entry in my new blog, "Serendipitology".

This blog tries to define and explore this new word I invented. The philosophical essays therein could have been posted to this KilroyCafe, so I am incorporating them by reference.

The blog has its own website: Serendipitology.com

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Campbell's Theory of Music



In order to write music, you need to have a theory about what music is. Since I dabble in songwriting, I have my own theory, and here it is....
  • Music is the subcarrier of language. Like songbirds, humans have learned to follow and produce a melodious pattern of sounds because it is essential to their communication. You may think that words are the basis of our communication, but before there can be words there are sound patterns. An infant hears and mimics the “music” of his parents’ speech long before he learns the words. Without a music sense, he wouldn't be able to follow speech. This music skill is innate and preprogrammed. We don’t really have to “learn” music; it comes to us automatically as part of our language firmware.

  • All of the music we appreciate in adulthood is derived from the musical patterns of language. Even if we are listening to a symphony without words, we are processing it through our language circuits. Instrumental music is essentially language with the words and specific meaning stripped out. We listen to language the way an infant does, without necessarily knowing the meaning, and this is naturally pleasing to us.

  • Some sound patterns are more pleasing than others. No one really knows why certain patterns appeal to the ear and others don’t, but there are universal standards that can be understood. For example, no one knows why the diatonic scale is pleasing to the ear, but all our Western instruments are now tuned to it. Certain tones are harmonic and others are discordant, and this probably has more to do with physics and the design of the ear than with culture. You don’t really need to know “why” to be able to produce good music. You just listen with your own ear to what sounds right.

  • Every coherent piece of music has a “melody”. Even if there are many instruments and notes being played, the listener is focused on one of them in particular. This is the “singing voice” of the piece. Even if there are no words, the listener is following this voice as though it was singing meaningful words. This is the part of the music that you can hum afterwards. All the other notes and instruments are icing on the cake. They can certainly contribute to the texture or pleasure of the piece, but they are not essential. Take away the singing voice, and the piece becomes boring and meaningless, while if you leave the singing voice and take away the rest, you still have a comprehensible tune.

  • The melody can switch between instruments and is not always contained in the singing voice. The melody is defined as the primary thing the listener is following at the moment.

  • When composing a piece of music, melody is your top priority. It is the skeleton upon which everything else in the piece is hung, including the words.

  • Every piece of music must have repetition. There must be a pattern of sounds that is established at the beginning and repeated throughout the work. This repeated pattern provides the foundation of the whole piece. Without it, the piece is chaotic and hard to follow, and you can’t really call it “music”; it is more like a person who rambles on about what he is thinking without sticking to the point of the conversation. Everything in the piece is built upon this repeated pattern. Over the course of the piece, there will be variations on the pattern and expansions of it, but before any of that can happen, the pattern has to be firmly established with at least two or three unmodified repetitions. Once you have established the pattern, you can modify it, but you have to come back to the original pattern from time to time to affirm it.

  • The pattern established at the beginning of the piece essentially asks a question, and the job of the rest of the piece is to answer that question. It is almost as if the whole song is preordained in the first 10 seconds.

  • Even if a piece of music is purely instrumental, I consider it a "song". It is processed by the brain in the same way. The listener hears "words" even in an instrumental song, but like a song in a foreign language, they have no distinct meaning.

  • The standard unit of composition is a song of 3-4 minutes. This is a coherent unit with a beginning, middle and an end. If the song is successful, then the listener goes away satisfied, feeling that a question has been asked and answered. As when rising from a good meal, he feels neither hungry or bloated. He may want to hear the song again, but he doesn't want to hear a longer song.

  • No one knows why 3-4 minutes is the optimal length for a song. It may be cultural, but I suspect it is more neurological. In any case, it's a fact of life. If a song is much shorter, the listener feels cheated. If it is longer, he starts getting bored. Even though a symphony can be much longer, it is essentially a series of 3-4 minute songs strong together in “movements”. You can separate these movements from the rest of the symphony, they still made sense and stand on their own. 3-4 minutes seems to the optimal length for the modern listener - the mouthful that he can chew and digest. While some famous songs and many classical movements go on for much longer, nothing significant is lost in a “radio edit” of 3-4 minutes.

  • Whether or not there are words, a song still conveys emotional content. There is conflict, development and resolution. There are emotional highs and lows. You don't need words for this, because the human language circuits can convey emotion by tones alone. (For example, you know when someone's voice is unhappy even if they are speaking a foreign language.) Instrumental music assumes that you can hold a long emotional conversation without any words at all.

  • In a good song, there are moments when you get an emotional thrill—which I call "goosebumps". This is an orgasmic reward that the user gets for listening to the song, and it makes him come back to it again and again. It's very hard to design a "goosebump" moment. It mainly comes about by trial and error.

  • Most songs follow a structured pattern of verse and chorus. The chorus is the strongest and most memorable part, repeated several times during the song. The verse provides the lead-up to the chorus and puts it into perspective. While the chorus is the part everyone remembers (and usually provides the song's title), it can’t exist on its own. You need the verse to provide substance to the song and support to the chorus.

  • All songs have structure; they aren't just pleasing patterns of notes. The most common structure of songs (both sung and instrumental) is Verse-Chorus-Verse-Chorus-Bridge, followed by some combination of Verse and Chorus, then an exit. Again, there's no clear reason why this pattern is successful, but it seems to be what the listener wants and expects.

  • The Bridge is a different pattern of music from the Verse and Chorus but one that is built upon them in some way. It provides a shift in perspective, so the Verse and Chorus are seen differently when they return. Again, no one really understands why a Bridge is necessary, but if it is missing, the song seems incomplete.

  • What happens after the bridge is highly variable, but it is usually a return to the previous patterns of the Verse and Chorus. Whether or not there are words, the Bridge represents a shifting point in the story. When there are words, the Bridge often provides the most meaningful part of the message, putting the whole rest of the song in perspective.

  • Every song has “meaning”, even if there are no words. It sounds cliched, but a song has to "have something to say". It's not just a series of pleasing sounds, but a useful philosophical observation about life. Even if a song has no words, it needs to have meaning. It needs to teach us something about emotions if nothing else.

  • Although there must be meaning, the best songs are vague about what it is. The meaning is metaphorical, not specific. A song must be symbolic enough that the user can read his own experience into it. It's not a song about "Roxanne" or "Maggie" but about the user's own experiences that fit the situations described. A good song should "seem" to know what it is talking about, yet if you analyse the words, you don't really have a clue.

  • A good song is one you can listen to again and again and get something different from it every time. It is a riddle without a solution but where the solution seems just out of reach. A good song is one that ten people can listen to and get ten different interpretations, each of which resonate with them and seem meaningful.

  • The responsibility of the songwriter is to create a compelling riddle to draw in the listener, then keep quiet when people have interpretations different than what he intended.

  • The purpose of a song is to serve the listener. It's not just a please assembly of sounds or the artist expressing himself. The song serves the listener's needs in the same way a plumber or chef does. If the listener is not compelled by the song, it is not his fault. It is the composer's job to make the music accessible to the listener.
[I may add more observations to this list as I think of them.]

Friday, January 27, 2012

The Facebook Bubble: Running the Numbers



I don't usually comment on current affairs, but the impending Facebook IPO is irresistible. I've got to predict doom and gloom while I still have the chance. Don't get me wrong: I love Facebook and use it every day. I don't expect the website itself to collapsed, but the numbers being thrown around for the company's value just don't make sense.

Supposedly, the company will be valued at somewhere between $75 and $100 BILLION when the IPO happens, which would make it one of the world's biggest companies, even though it has a vague and completely unproven profit model.

Let me do a crude financial analysis here. Facebook claims to have 800 million active users, so that means investors are essentially paying $100 for each of those users. How can the company possibly squeeze that much value out of all of its users or even a majority of them?

Those 800 million users include just about everyone in the world with a computer. They are rich and poor, but mostly poor. The vast majority are no better than casual users, logging in once a week or less. And when they do log on, they don't look at advertizing. They are concerned with their photos and comments, and they are not in the mood to buy things. Facebook has one of the WORST click-through rates of major websites. People just aren't interested in buying stuff while they are there. (In contrast, when people do Google searches, they are much more motivated to buy.)

You could argue that the user base is bound to increase, and 800 million is only the beginning, but how far can it go? Keep in mind, there are only 7 billion on the planet, 1 billon of whom live in China where Facebook is blocked. As Facebook pushes a billion users, you got to wonder whether the remaining 5 billion even have computers. At some point, the numbers have to plateau, as people dropping out of active use match those just signing up. In other words, any real growth beyond a billion seems highly unlikely.

And no one yet has evaluated the quality of those users -- that is how many truly active users there are. That will start happening as soon as the company goes public.

According to standard valuations, a company is usually worth about 10 times earnings. So if Facebook is valued at $100 per user, it has to make a profit of $10 per user per year to be considered a break-even investment. No way can this happen!

To generate $10 in profit, Facebook has to generate a lot more revenue because there are also expenses to pay, mainly the huge cost of server farms. Facebook is essentially providing each user with unlimited photo storage forever, and this costs money. (See previous blog entry.) Storage and bandwidth costs are a non-negotiable expense. The price of these things is always coming down as technology advances, but probably not as fast as people are uploading photos. So Facebook's expense are going to continuously grow over the years. To make a $10 profit, Facebook may have to sell $20 worth of advertizing to EVERY user, so it can pay its server expenses, and it may have to earn more and more every year just to keep pace with storage growth.

True, Facebook has unprecedented access to people's habits and activities, which is highly valuable to advertisers, but this value is not unlimited. At a certain point, advertiser will say, "So what? They're not buying things, so why do I need this information?"

I don't know about others, but I have used Facebook intensely for over three years, yet have clicked on ads only a couple of times, and I have NEVER bought anything through those ads. Who would pay for clicks like mine?

I fully expect the coming IPO to be a big success! That's because a lot a naive investors with poor math skills are eager to climb on board. It's just like every past Gold Rush. People hear from their friends that this is a great investment, and they don't want to miss the boat. They use Facebook every day, think it is great and want to be part of the action, but they have no skill in valuing stocks.

These dumb investors may keep the bubble inflated for a little while, but what ultimately determines stock price is profit, and in Facebook's case, the profit is trivial and may always be trivial, at least nowhere near the profit that the current valuation suggests.

I don't expect the Facebook website to cease operation. It is still a valuable asset, just nowhere near its valuation. A lot of investors are going to be badly burned when the stock price finally reaches a rational level. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if Zuckerberg is forced out and replaced with more conventional profit-driven management. 

In the future, expect more intrusive ads and the introduction of fees for things that were previously free. There is no way around it. If you want an expensive service like this, you have to pay for it, and personally I would be happy to do so.

I depend on Facebook, and I hope it survives the crisis ahead.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Repent Now! - The Facebook/YouTube Crash Is Coming!

Social media is a new economy, and there are sure to be problems down the line that we can't anticipate now. It's not all endless growth; there are bound to be crashes. Here's one problem I see that could be a big problem in the not-so-distant future....

Facebook, in its new Timeline feature, has invited everyone in the world to chronicle their entire lives on the site. Many will accept this offer, uploading every photo they have from their past. But then what happens? Those photos sit on Facebook's servers forever, rarely viewed and never generating a cent of profit for Facebook.

Multiply this by millions of users, and you have endless terrabytes of dead storage that Facebook must pay for but is gaining little economic benefit from.

True, storage is always getting cheaper, but will the technology keep pace with the added burdens? And storage will always cost money, while photos that are never viewed generate no revenue.

Facebook can plausibly generate revenue on new photo albums that people actually look at, since they can sell advertising on the margins. They gain no revenue when active interest in those photos expires, as usually happens in a couple of weeks. Then the photos are merely a money-sink for Facebook, since it has to pay for storage. And this dead storage is constantly growing at an ever-quickening pace.

This has to end badly sometime in the future. Facebook simply can't store everything for everybody forever. There has to be a breaking point.

YouTube also faces the same problem. People are uploading videos every day. Each of those videos have an active life when they can generate revenue, and after that they become dead storage that never goes away. And video files are HUGE, dwarfing still photos.

I have often recorded videos for only one person. I upload the video -- as big as one gigabyte -- the target audience views it, then the video is never viewed again. It sits in storage until the end of time.

The Google search engine doesn't face this problem as much. It doesn't have to store or index the whole web, only as much as it wants to. As the web grows exponentially, Google doesn't have to keep up.

Not so for Facebook. With its Timeline feature, it is implicitly promising to keep everything you upload forever. Imagine the outcry if Facebook ever said, "We're going to delete some of your old photos."

Facebook's economic base is still unproven. It can make money selling advertizing and by selling all the data it is collecting on people's behavior, but it is doubtful this revenue stream can increase at the same exponential rate as Facebook's new commitments to users.

This is beginning to take the same form as every conventional economic crash in the past: A belief in magical infinite growth that will go on forever. In the midst of the boom, people believe in anti-gravity, but real gravity always wins in the end.

So don't upload your photos to Facebook or videos to YouTube thinking they'll be there forever (as, unfortunately, I have). Regardless of revenue, there will come a time when no amount of cheap storage can keep up with the demands being made.

One way or another, gravity will eventually win.

[Also see next entry: The Facebook Bubble: Running the Numbers]

My Social Media Policy


Below is a road map of how all my various social media accounts fit together. (See our website for a more recent statement of these policies.)

Facebook

Facebook is my photo diary, the place I upload all my photos as I take them and where I record most of my other work as it is released (videos, blog entries, etc.). It is also my place to communicate with actual non-virtual friends. Most of my Facebook page is public and anyone can subscribe, but I friend only people I know or who I have an obvious connection with. (You can always try to friend me, but I'll run you through some filters before I accept.)

Facebook is linked to everyone I know—family, friends, casual acquaintances—so my postings there are designed not to offend. It is an ideal forum for pretty pictures, links to travel videos and other things that are unlikely to upset anyone's apple cart.

My photos on Facebook are usually edited, and they may be posted hours or days after they are taken. I have HUNDREDS of photo albums on FB from all over the world, indexed on my photo page.

Twitter

I use Twitter when I want to speak my mind, without worrying much about discretion. Although I don't try to keep my Twitter account secret, very few of my Facebook friends follow me on Twitter. Twitter is simply too much work and takes too much initiative for most, so there is a de facto firewall between the two (at least in one direction). This allows me to be more spontaneous and truthful, making uncomfortable observations without fear of offending my conventional friends and acquaintances.

Here are my Best Tweets of All Time as judged by my followers, and here is what they like right now.

Twitter plays a special role in my social media strategy because it is not just a real-time feed. My tweets are permanently archived in a system of my own creation: BadDalaiLama.com. This provides a sort of personal diary of where I went, what I did, what I was reading, what I was thinking and what I stumbled upon in life—as much for my own record as anyone else's. (I am frequently looking back at the archive to find old links and where I was on a particular date.)

Twitter is also my main forum for words of wisdom. I spew aphorisms like you wouldn't believe! (The timeless ones are reposted on @BadLamaWisdom.) Whenever I tweet something, I want it to have permanent relevance, fifty years from now as much as today, so I try not to clutter my timeline with many here-and-now tweets or too much conversation with others. (I generally prefer DM's for personal exchanges.)

My photos on Twitter are usually posted "as they happen", directly from my iPhone without editing. However, I may also post some of my best edited photos after I have uploaded them to FB.

I tweet many times a day! Hardly a waking hour goes by when I don't spew something. For my full Twitter policies, see BadDalaiLama.com

Google+

My Google+ is is not nearly as active Facebook and Twitter. I use it to repost important things that might be lost on my other dense feeds. My rule for G+ is "only the best!". I used to post a lot more photos there until I upgraded to Timeline on Facebook. Now I might post once a day at most, and only my very best stuff.

YouTube

YouTube is my video archive. I don't participate much in the social media aspects of YouTube. I just post my own original videos there. (Since YouTube is the standard video forum, I see no reason use other video sites like Facebook, TwitVid or Vimeo.)

Only about half of my YouTube videos are "public" and directly shown on my YouTube page. The rest are "unlisted" and can be viewed only if you have the link. These video usually are not secret; I just don't want them to clutter up my YouTube channel and distract from my better work. My video page is intended to index ALL of my videos, including the unlisted ones. I will also announce most of my videos on Facebook and Twitter as they are uploaded. My travel videos are also cross-referenced on my photo page by location (currently incomplete).

Email

Yup, I still use it! I have a dozen valid addresses, but most of them channel into BadDalaiLama (at) gmail.com, which is the fastest way to reach me.

Inactive and Low-Activity Accounts

I use FourSquare only as an easy way to update both Twitter and Facebook with my location. Unlike some 4SQ users, I'm not going to tell you everywhere I go. I'll only report interesting locations or places I have something to say about. Most of my 4SQ posts appear on Twitter and Facebook, so there isn't much need to follow me on 4SQ.

I am on LinkedIn, but I am not an active user. (Since I have no marketable skills, LinkedIn isn't much use to me.)

In 2010, I maintained a Tumblr Blog of my best videos, but that has been replaced by Google+. You can still browse it for some nice photos from that era.

I have experimented with many other forums, including TwitPic, TwitVid and Facebook Video. Ultimately, I gave them up, but they still have some interesting archive material.

My first Twitter account was @KilroyCafe. This was my 18 months of training before @BadDalaiLama. A lot of great forgotten tweets, with a home-built archive system to access them.

Blogs

Kilroy Cafe is my main forum for philosophical essays, songs and other verbal work. If my message is too long to fit into a tweet, I'll probably post it here. Active since 2008!

Homeless by Choice is my forum for extreme budget travel, although I rarely update it anymore.

Area 51 Loose Ends is where I post random things about the secret Groom Lake military base in Nevada. I am no longer an active researcher in this field, there may still be a story or two I want to publish.

Things You Don't Need has been inactive since 2009, but I reserve the right to post there in the future.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Problem with Multitasking


Back when personal computers first appeared in the early 1980s, you could do only one thing at a time. You could run a word processing program or a spreadsheet but not both at once. If you wanted to switch between them you had to save your work, completely exit the application, then start up another one.

Then in the mid 80s, something called "time-slicing" came along. A computer would hold several applications in memory and the CPU would divide up its time between them. It worked on one task then switched periodically to another, but it did it so quickly that it seemed like the programs were running simultaneously.

Multitasking was born.

Today, we take it for granted that we can open multiple applications, keep them running simultaneously and switch between them with a single click. You can now get multiple inputs at the same time: one window plays music while another shows you the latest news and you do your main work in a third.

People are also multitasking in their personal lives, assuming they can do things the same way computers do. There are more sources of stimulation than ever before, and people feel they need to do them all simultaneously or in rapid succession: computers, TVs, cellphones, iPods — not to mention all the endlessly replicating real-world tasks we find ourselves obligated to. Before personal computers, it was fashionable to say that humans used only 10% of their brain capacity. Now they are using 110%! That doesn't mean, however, that people are more productive or happier. The cost of quantity is quality.

The problem with multitasking on computers is that your PC can eventually become so cluttered with active tasks that it slows down and becomes unusable. This is true no matter how much processing power you have. Computers today have 1000s of times the CPU speed of computers in the 1980s, but when you crank up your word processor it may run so... incredibly... slow... that you almost wish for a nice simple one-task computer from the old days.

The really disturbing thing is that most of those processes slowing down your computer are junk tasks you don't really need and may not even be aware of. It could be a virus slowing down your computer or some unused application you installed long ago and forgot about. Personal computers today are a mess! In spite of any "optimizing" you may do, they are always compromised by irrelevent processes.

Likewise, people are undoubtedly busier than ever before, but most of those processes are junk tasks that don't really move your life forward. Of course there is the obvious cerebral junk food like video games and trash TV that soak up hours in a heartbeat, but junk can also come in appealing packages that don't seem like junk on the surface. It is hard to resist a five-star movie or an exciting vacation or a party with a lot of nice, interesting friends, but even this good stuff can be junk if there is too much of it.

Truth is, there is limit to how many apps your brain can run without the whole system getting fried.

CPUs in computers have their hardware limits. There is a maximum number of simple transactions you can force through them in a second, and once this limit is reached, you're going to have a systemic slowdown. People don't realize that human consciousness also has its hard limits. These parameters are much more difficult to define and measure, so it is easy to assume ones brainpower is unlimited, but there is a definite maximum-thoughts-per-minute and we find ourselves bumping up against it all the time.

We are all familiar with the problem of driving and cellphones. Studies show that drivers talking on phones are every bit as dangerous as drunk drivers. Governments respond by banning hand-held cellphone use, but speakerphones are almost as dangerous. The problem is not holding the phone but subdividing ones consciousness. A phone call, even a trivial one, is a high-priority brain task which pushes driving into the background. People run red lights and cut off others without even knowing it.

Whatever consciousness may be, it employs a form of time-slicing. It focuses on one task for a certain amount of time, then switches to another. The slice given to each task is measurable and significant, more in the range of seconds than milliseconds. Sometimes the switch between tasks is internally prompted—daydream thoughts that segue naturally from one idea to another—and sometimes it is triggered by an outside event. If you are driving on a straight road, your thoughts can wander for some time until something happens in front of you that snaps your attention back to the road. (That is, unless another more involving task gets in the way. )

It is no mystery that the more you slice up a pie, the less of it each person gets. If conscious thought is a limited commodity and you divide it among twenty tasks, each task will get, on average, one-twentieth of the attention. Inevitably, there are some tasks that monopolize more than their fair share of attention, and these aren't necessarily the most important ones. A trivial phone call while driving will kill you just as surely as an important one, because all calls take priority in consciousness.

Simple math says that the more you divide up quality thought, the less quality gets allocated to each task. "Quality" means devoting sufficient processing power to a task to do it well. When driving, quality is obvious, if you miss a red light and drive right through it or if you miss some other clue on the road like slick ice ahead, then the quality of processing is low, and you could die for it.

The same applies on the macro level. If you go from one hour-long activity to another and another with no gaps in-between, then you may have been focused fully on each task but you have had no time for any higher-level processing of the experience. You don't have time to regurgitate and reprocess, which is an essential part of learning. If you engage in an hour-long learning task, it is better to have a free hour to think about it afterwards. Then you have time to integrate and process what you have learned and you will probably do it better the next time than if you had no intervening thinking time.

In the modern world, it seems to be taken as a badge of honor to have a busy life full of involving activities from dawn to dusk, but what this often means is a trite and superficial life that isn't nearly as productive as it seems to be. The main goal in life is not to do a LOT of things but to do the RIGHT things, and this is where heavily multitasked people usually miss the boat. They have no time to think about what they doing, no time to ruminate on whether this is really the best path, so they can easy go off on unproductive tangents for years at a time.

Another thing you notice about overprogrammed people is that they are very passive. In other words, they will will respond to events around them but they rarely initiate them. Initiative takes time, thought and effort that these people just don't have. This makes the vulnerable to whatever stock solution someone else hands them, whether or not it it really right. In an unexpected crisis, multitask addicts may try to buy their way out of it instead of stopped to analyze the situation, which they don't have time for.

Overprogrammed people may be full of surface life, but don't expect a lot of deep interaction from them. They will respond to your questions but may not give much attention or care to their response. They may smile, but their mind is only half there. They may be full of promises but weak on follow-up. They are always racing to the next item on the agenda. If an unexpected issue, crisis or opportunity comes up, they can only devote to it the few available seconds between other activities.

Heavily multitasked people miss some of the best things in life because those events are not on their prepared agenda. When unexpected things happen, they just can't process them, let alone take advantage of them. Multitasked people aren't very curious about the world around them because they don't have time to be. Aliens could land on the front lawn, but they'd just shrug it off because they don't have time to investigate.

Computer technology has certainly come a long way since the 1980s, but it's not clear that our lives have gotten better for it. In the old days, you could still switch tasks—from word processor to spreadsheet—but there was a high cost of doing so, so you didn't do it very often. Now, it is a too easy to switch. Your time is sliced into ever-tinier bits, without much quality devoted to each. On the macro level, people are leading busy, superficial lives, blessed with a stunning variety of sensory input and no time to digest it.

You CAN get back to the 80s—back to the mythical age when people supposedly had time to think—but only through deliberate effort. You have to aggressively cut down your inputs and slough off obligations faster than you take them on. A 100% activity level isn't healthy for anyone. You have to be doing a lot less with your body before your mind can catch up and give meaning to what you do.

The thing most tragically lost in multitasking is the opportunity to think things through. You want to be taking MEANINGFUL actions in your life, not just busy ones.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Santa Claus and the Aliens: Charities That Don't Work

A friend referred me to the website of the HEARTbeats Foundation, a 501(c) charity that intends to improve the lives of impoverished children around the world through music.
Based in Los Angeles, the HEARTbeats Foundation strives to help children in need harness the power of music to better cope with, and recover from, the extreme challenges of poverty and conflict, in hope of creating a more peaceful, sustainable world for generations to come.
In essence, this is a group of American musicians who travel around the world giving concerts to poor children, thereby improving their lives and "making a difference". Their first 6-day journey to Nepal was a great success. The photos show they brought great joy to many children.

Mind you, they are not doing anything concrete to improve the lives of impoverished children, they are just helping them "cope" with their poverty though the power of music. The 9-person team includes a 3-person film crew so they can record themselves bringing joy to others and making a difference.

So as I understand it, these musicians are improving the lives of desperate children by entertaining them. Sure, all children love entertainment, but this is very expensive entertainment, imported from America. These are concert violinists and cellists from prestigious American symphonies. Certainly impoverished children in Nepal will appreciate that!

This is an example of what I call a "Santa Claus" charity. They parachute in, give people some nice presents, and leave. Without a doubt, they bring joy to the people they give the presents to, but the joy doesn't last any longer than the gifts do. In spite of the short-term satisfaction of both the gifters and giftees, these charities can cause a great deal of long-term damage by disrupting local ecologies and giving people false hope.

To illustrate, here is a little parable I wrote for my friend...



Alien Contact

After years of speculation, the truth is revealed: Alien life exists!

A flying saucer comes out of the clouds and finally lands on the White House lawn. The whole world is mesmerized. All other television programming is suspended as every channel covers this one stupendous event.

The saucer opens and six strange grey aliens get out. They set up their instruments and start playing a concert of curious alien music. They dance and sing in a strange language. Then they get back in their spaceship and fly away.

Without a doubt, it's a joyful, amazing event! It is perhaps the most impressive occurrence in the memories of millions of Earthlings, especially the young people.

But then what happens?

The aliens don't come back.

People are left wondering, "Where did they go? Why did they leave?"

Yes, we now know that alien life exists, but they're not communicating with us anymore. They just abandoned us. Did we do something to offend them?

Can you imagine the trauma this would cause on Earth? Aliens come down from the heavens, show us joy, then leave, taking the joy with them.

Some of the young people on Earth are curious about the weird instruments the aliens are playing. They would like to play those instruments, too, but they don't exist on Earth. We don't have that
advanced alien technology, and aliens didn't leave anything behind to help us obtain it.

People also wonder: We've got some serious problems on Earth -- global warming, war, overpopulation, poverty, hunger. These aliens are very powerful. Why can't they help us with these things?

People who were starving before the aliens came are still starving after they leave.

Oh, I forgot to mention something: The aliens brought a film crew with them. The purpose of the film crew was to record the six aliens bringing joy to Planet Earth. The joy is real and the film crew captures it! Without a doubt, the whole Earth is filled with wonder as the aliens perform on the White House lawn, and the film crew, pointing their camera out at the audience, accurately record that wonder.

But the film crew leaves with the aliens. It does not hang around to record whatever confusion or trauma takes place after the aliens are gone. As far as the aliens are concerned, the concert is over, but as far as the Earthlings are concerned, the questions and soul-searching have just begun.

You got to question the motives of the aliens when they bring a film crew with them. Are they really here to bring joy and hope to Planet Earth, or are they here to record themselves bringing joy and hope to Planet Earth?

Isn't that the REAL purpose of the mission? Now the aliens can go back to their home planet, show the film to all their friends and say, "We made a difference!"

But did they really make a difference? Did they really improve life on Planet Earth or just confuse the hell out of people? In the long run of five or ten years, did this concert help or hurt our planet? It's really hard to say. It is an alien event with a million different interpretations. In fact, most people can't process it at all. It's just this weird thing that happened.

The only clear thing is that any joy the aliens brought to our planet left as soon as they did.

The End.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Taoism vs. the Western Way

[This post is a modified version of a letter to a friend.]

There was once a girl I liked who gave me a book, The Tao of Pooh, I don't know if you've read it: Taoism explained in terms of Winnie the Pooh. Pooh is the most Taoist of all characters. He doesn't try to impose his will on the world; he just lets the world flow through him.

I loved the book! I wished I could write a nice simple book like that. But at the same time I recognized the flaws of Taoism, how it is really a corrupt philosophy if taken by itself.

Taoism taught me to take advantage of the winds as they are, not expecting them to blow where they're not. But if you take this philosophy to the extreme, you're just casting yourself adrift, subject to the storms and winds of the sea, and you'll get nowhere.

Taoism is poisonous when it encourages people not to take an active position in their own lives, which I think was the aim of the girl who gave me the book. The dark side of Taoism is passivity and fatalism. Taoism may account for the fact that the Chinese had gunpowder but never thought of guns, had sailing ships but never bothered to explore. Taoism = no initiative but to wake up in the morning and accept the world as it is.

In real life, people like Pooh get abused and eaten alive. Life doesn't give you a pleasant, protected Hundred-Acre Woods to live in. In real life, you have to take initiative just to protect yourself. If you just let life pass through you, you're going to be victimized. You're also going to be a mindless, boring twit with no curiosity or initiative.

The Western materialistic way is to impose your will on everything, which is equally corrupt. You barge ahead regardless of the winds. You cut all fish into uniform square bricks and sell them as Filet o' Fish sandwiches. The Western way is to try to force the world into a system that you design, which has all sorts of collateral damage. If you cut all your fish into square bricks, wiping out their individual quirks, you'll be wasting a lot of fish as well as depleting the local fisheries and exploiting the people involved in production. The Western way denies nature and wastes a lot of resources, but it had taken over the world because it is reproducible on a massive scale.

A middle ground is life aboard a sailing ship. In the age of sail, you had to listen to the winds and move with them. At the same time, people had places to go. They had goals to achieve, which Taoism really can't account for. Non-Taoist sailors actually went out and explored the world, whereas the Taoist would never leave port. Often the goals of the explorers were deluded -- searching for Eldorado -- but at least they were motivated by SOMETHING.

My own modified Western-Taoist position is that I'll listen to the winds, but I'm also driven to get someplace. I don't have specific goals, like Eldorado, I have "meta goals" -- certain creative directions I want to go in when given the opportunity. It is the difference between drifting aimlessly in the Caribbean and choosing to at least go East or West.

Taoism is popular these days because it helps justify people's passivity -- not taking action in one's own life. Passivity is often a result of being overprogrammed and deluged with stimuli, so you just don't have time for thoughtful decision making. The average TV viewer is very passive and Taoist. He just lets the TV schedule flow through him and is never motivated to leave his couch.

The Taoist is poor at thinking ahead. He isn't trying proactively to head of crises before they happen. Because he is living in the "now", he is not a very good chess player, where you have to think many moves ahead. Because of this, the Taoist is often abused and exploited, like Pooh would be in the real world or how millions of Chinese now are in the slave labor camps of the Walmart corporation.

I've never been a passive type, but the crises of my adulthood really turned me into the master of my own ship. I'm not going to deny the winds, but I sure as hell am going to take the rudder! Even when I chose NOT do something, I don't do it passively. It means I have thought through the implications and have made a conscious decision that doing nothing is my best alternative in this instance.

Life is a series of forks in the road. At each of them you make a decision. You listen to what nature wants, but it is still your responsibility to actively decide your path, using all the resources at your disposal to try to foretell the future. Sometimes you choose wisely, and sometimes poorly, but you always learn something from it to apply to the next decision.

You can't just "go with the flow" as a Taoist would. You must actively decide what stream to follow then actively steer your ship upon it.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Kilroy Cafe #17: So you're having an Existential Crisis (Welcome to the club!)

Here is a repost of a Kilroy Café philosophy essay from 2008. (Previously available only as a graphic.) You can print this newsletter on a single page via the pdf file. The full text is below. Also see other Kilroy Café newsletters



So you're having an 
Existential Crisis
(Welcome to the club!)

By GLENN CAMPBELL

So you’re having an existential crisis. You’ve been looking in the mirror and asking yourself “Who am I?” Due, no doubt, to an unfortunate series of events, you now find yourself at a personal crossroads and don’t know which way to go.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Millions are suffering from the same disorder. Unfortunately, society doesn’t offer much sympathy or support. “Don’t you know who you are?” people seem to say. “Are you some kind of dummy?”

But you’re no dummy. Just recognizing the existence of a crisis is evidence of your intelligence. Most people coast through life playing simple-minded roles: fireman, fashion model, soldier, mommy. You at least have the presence of mind to know you have a choice and that none of the available roles quite fit.

An existential crisis is sometimes known as a “mid-life crisis.” You recognize in a panic that your life is half over and that most of the things you intended to accomplish aren’t happening. That’s when middle aged men dump their wives for younger girlfriends and invest in the proverbial red sports car. Alas, it rarely solves the problem.

Turns out, a mid-life crisis can happen at any stage of life, and the earlier you start having them the better. There’s nothing wrong, in fact, with being in continuous existential crisis from the age of 14 until you die. All of us are facing a deadline, and none of us can afford to waste much time.

Not knowing what to do with ourselves is an inherent condition of life. Things are easier when we have no choice—when our career, relationships and goals have all been arranged for us by others. Once we recognize our ability to choose, we start to fret about it and wonder if we are accomplishing all we are capable of.

The pain is numbed when we fall into a role and it is reasonably successful. Someone playing the role of “doctor” or “corporate executive” doesn’t usually think much about where his life is going because the role itself takes up so much time. It is mainly when we are unsuccessful in our chosen pursuits that a crisis emerges.

And thank God for that! Our most important and potentially rewarding decisions are prompted by failure. Had you been successful in your original plan, you would have continued along a fairly bland straight-line track. Failure forces you to make a bold departure. It is riskier than the straight-line route, but the potential is also greater.

So what should that departure be? In the midst of a crisis, everything is on the table. Should you chuck it all and join the Peace Corps? Should you change your sexual orientation or even your whole gender? (Chop, chop, snip, snip!) Or should you just quit the game altogether, opting for a clean or messy suicide? (A plea from the living: Please don’t be messy.)

While it is useful to think about all the theoretical options, your practical choices are much more limited. You’re not going to get a sex change, and it would be silly to check out. It would also be unwise to completely change your career. If you are already a doctor, it doesn’t make much sense to try to become a lawyer. It is just too costly to start over from scratch.

Listen up because this is the important part: You’ve got to stick with what you know and what you’re already good it.

Okay, your life up to present may have been an abject failure, but you’ve still built up certain skills and assets, and you shouldn’t abandon them lightly. In a crisis, there is often a temptation to completely discard the past and start over in an entirely new field. Unfortunately, you’re probably a babe in this field and are competing against those who grew up there and are much better at it than you are.

The first step to resolving your existential crisis is making a cool, objective inventory of your assets. For example, there are things you have been doing since your earliest consciousness—singing, writing, drawing, etc. These skills are part of your nervous system, so it is senseless to try to purge them. You need to be working with your native skills, not against them.

The solution to your crisis lies not in radical change but in rediscovering to your roots. What do you do well? What are you already set up for? What product comes out of you effortlessly? It is easy to devalue your native skills because they come so easily to you, but in the context of society, they are still remarkable and shouldn’t be dismissed.

Once you complete an honest inventory, an existential crisis usually resolves itself. There are things you can do with your current resources and opportunities and things you can’t. Obviously, you are going to focus on what is doable right now.

You don’t need to know where your whole life is going to make adequate decisions for the moment. You just look at the real opportunities in front of you and choose the one that’s most consistent with your past and your core abilities.

Just work with what you have.
—G .C.


©2008, Glenn Campbell, Glenn-Campbell.com.
See my other philosophy writings at Glenn-Campbell.com/philosophy.


It turns out we also published this issue as a blog entry in 2008.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Kilroy Cafe #4: Teenage Insanity Explained at Last! (reposted from 2008)

Here is a repost of a Kilroy Café philosophy essay from 2008. (Previously available only as a graphic.) You can click on the image above for a larger version or print it out on a single page via the pdf file. The full text is also below. Also see other Kilroy Café newsletters




Teenage Insanity Explained at Last

By GLENN CAMPBELL

Monkeys can be clever. If you hang a banana just out of reach and leave a stick in their cage, they’ll eventually figure out how to use the tool to obtain the treat.

Human teenagers are almost as smart. If you hang something they want just out of reach and give them the tools to attain it, they’ll eventually learn to connect the two, but maybe not as quickly as the monkey.

First, they have to throw a tantrum, insisting it’s IMPOSSIBLE to obtain the goal with those pitiful tools. They complain bitterly about your cruelty in not giving them the banana directly. Their strategy, of course, is to coerce you into fetching it for them.

But if you cave in and do what they demand, they only hate you for it. The more bananas you give them, they more they resent you and devalue what you’ve done for them. They’ll take whatever you give, bitch about it, then demand you give even more.

Generally speaking, monkeys are easier to work with.

There seems to be vast misunder-standing among the general public about what a teenager is and what he expects from the world. Parents and other social workers often make the mistake of trying to reason with the teenager using words alone. They expect him to think like an adult, when in fact adults don’t even think like adults most of the time.

He used to be this sweet little thing who saw you as a hero and followed you everywhere like a puppy. Then puberty kicked in and it was like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Everything you did became wrong and your old bag of tricks didn’t work anymore.

We are pleased to report, however, that adolescent humans can be success-fully managed and occasionally turned into productive citizens. You just have to think like they do.

Around puberty, a youth becomes afflicted with an overwhelming need for identity. He is driven to distinguish himself from all the other humans around him, which is no easy task. Spiked hair, outrageous fashions, risky behavior, graffiti—All are attempts to say, “Here I am!” They don’t want to be a puppy anymore; they have to be their own dog.

This drive for identity is more powerful than anything else: food, sex, sleep, safety. It is also inherently something you can’t do for them, even if they demand it.

Teens make fantastic rodeo riders because they’re absolutely driven to make their mark while having very little common sense. This, of course, is what terrifies caregivers. What is the teen going to try next, and will it be fatal? If you give him the keys to the car, will he blow his brains out with it?

The solution is to not give him the keys to the car. In fact, a teen shouldn’t be given anything. No keys, no bananas—nothing for free.

Consult the child abuse laws of your state. There are penalties for beating the kid, raising him in squalor or with¬holding basic nutrition or medical care.

Under the law, it is not considered child abuse if you fail to provide video entertainment or decline to take him to the mall for the latest fashions. As much as he may cry child abuse, it isn’t child abuse.

If it isn’t abuse to withhold a discretionary entertainment or fashion, then why are you providing it?
Here at Kilroy Cafe, we firmly believe in one guiding principle of parenting: Every child should be required to pay for his own upbringing.

Maybe not the full retail cost, but whenever a kid wants something, he should have to pay a price for it. If he wants dinner, he must contribute something to dinner. If he wants a ride somewhere, he must do something to compensate you for your time and gas.

No matter how wealthy you may be, the best environment for your kid is one of moderate poverty where nothing is taken for granted. If you have assets, hide them. Give the kid nothing for free, apart from your time. If he has a goal, he has to use his own resources to obtain it.

If he asks you for something, your first response should be “What will you do for me?”

You want to connect the kid with the real demands of the world as quickly as possible. He’s going to face them anyway when he moves out of your home, so why not start early?

Then the banana will have value, and you’ll be amazed by the ingenuity of the monkey.
—G .C.


©2008, Glenn Campbell, Glenn-Campbell.com.
See my other philosophy newsletters at www.KilroyCafe.com.
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